Bill Richardson: Super Genius

Prepare yourselves. This is what we have to look forward to until the next election.

In a speech to the Nitze School of Advanced International Studies at Johns Hopkins University, democratic presidential candidate Bill Richardson made the bold statement that "If al-Qaida obtained nuclear weapons, they would not hesitate to use them with the same ruthlessness that allowed them to fly airplanes filled with people into buildings." He said we should secure nuclear materials in Russia and other dangerous areas of the world so they can't get in terrorists hands.

So you're taking the controversial position that we should probably try to keep nuclear materials away from terrorists? That's really out-of-the-box thinking there Bill, although I see no mention of how the US is supposed to accomplish this. Still, the full extent of your genius was not revealed until later.

In the question-and-answer period after his speech, Richardson laid out the plans for his first days in the White House. The first day, he would get out of Iraq. The second, he would announce a plan to drastically cut U.S. dependence on foreign oil.On the third day, the issue would be global warming.

That's amazing! You can fix all the problems in the middle east, cut our dependence on oil and solve global warming all in your first three days? What are you going to do the rest of the week? Restore the rainforests? Free medical care? Flying cars and jetpacks in every garage? I can't wait!